I thought that your paper did a really good job of having relevant content and it definitely meets the length requirements as well. I would suggest you try to work on your thesis so your position is more clear. However, I think your position becomes more apparent in your later paragraphs, but I think you could be more forward with it in your introduction. With this, I think it will also help the flow of your paper as a result with claims that are relevant to your thesis statement. Also, you had a few ideas that could be broken up into separate paragraphs, or even just sentences that could be split up into two. You made sure to relate each of your body paragraphs to the pharmacist profession which was really good and made good use of quotes and connecting them to your claims. To make it even better you could try sharing more of your personal experience as a pharmacy technician!